a gift of love

As I was climbing into bed last night, I found this thoughtful little gift on my nightstand....



Homemade Lavendar Bath Salt, lovingly made by my adorable and sweet 15-year-old daughter Haylie. Attached was a note of admiration and love, on which she had beautifully written....

Dear Mother,

I thought I could give these bath salts to you, and maybe you will use them (although you never take baths!). I love you so much.

(Awwwww, I know what you are thinking..."Maryanne has raised the sweetest and most perfect child On. This. Earth!")

(Or maybe you are thinking..."Maryanne never takes baths?? Eww!")

(But wait! Hold your thoughts! It goes on!)

Thou art like a cherry blossom, newly blooming and fluttering in the Spring breeze, hither to a white-stained gazebo.

Love, Haylie


I have no idea what you are thinking now, because I have no idea what to think myself.

Other than...."What was this child smoking last night?!" (At Young Women's nonetheless!)

donny: my story

Several years ago, when we were living in Nebraska, I read in the Lincoln newspaper that Donny Osmond would be performing a special run of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat in Salt Lake City. (Honestly, I have no idea why anyone thought people in Lincoln, Nebraska even cared that Donny Osmond was performing 3 states away.)
Anyhoo, I turned to John and said, "I'm going to Utah for this, you can come if you want but I am going." Being the supportive guy he is, he begrudgingly agreed to accompany me.

So, we flew out to Utah to see Donny. As Joseph. In a loincloth.

He was awesome and amazing and glorious and all that good stuff.

(FYI, the rumor is true. I couldn't sleep that night after the show. I had just seen:
Donny Osmond.
Live.
In. A. Loincloth.
People, do you understand me here?!)

Fast forward 12 years to July 2010. The place is the Hill Cumorah in Palmyra, New York and our family is there because we are in the pageant. As were were getting ready for the show one night, I kept over-hearing people saying "Donny Osmond this, and Donny Osmond that." I finally asked someone why everyone was talking about Donny. The answer was, "Oh! You don't know?! He's here. Tonight. In the audience."

*Instant meltdown*

Donny Osmond was here, in my presence. He was going to watch me (ME!) dance the "Wicked Jerusalem Harlot Dance" on a stage.

Oh sweet tender mercy.

Every night after our performance we would have a devotional that started at 11:05 p.m. (I know, :05? It's true.) I got thinking about the situation and I just had this gut feeling that Donny would come talk to us at our devotional. Of course he would....why would he NOT? He was in this pageant once. He used to be one of us. So I ran to the Study Shelter (a covered pavilion on the side of the Hill Cumorah where our devotionals were held) and I threw my backpack on the seats front and center.

Boy, am I smart.

Donny came to the devotional. And his wife and his youngest son. And he stood right in front of me (ME!). He talked to us for about 15 minutes. He was charming and handsome (although a leeetle bit into himself, but oh well!). He made eye contact with me (ME!) several times! I think I took 108 pictures* of him. I wonder how he felt having my big ol' camera right in his face clicking away while he spoke.

(Actually, I think he liked it.)

He finished speaking and the closing prayer was said. The very micro-second that the word "amen" was uttered, the entire cast and crew of over 600 people swarmed Donny, like a pack of ravenous wolves going in for the kill. I thought, "I don't care, I'll wait here all night if I have to, just to get my picture with him."

There I stood, watching him, thinking of all the glorious things that Donny and I were going to talk about; we would talk about how great he was on Dancing with the Stars (even though I never actually watched him on DWTS, I could tell him that I heard he was really good!). He would in turn tell me how great I danced on that Hill Cumorah stage and how my shimmies, undulations, and come-hithers were nothing less than the best shimmies, undulations, and come-hithers he had ever seen.

Oh yes, it would be a glorious conversation.

Me and Donny.

My thoughts were suddenly broken by the sound of my husband's voice, "Come on, let's go! Now's the perfect time to get out of the parking lot while everyone else is in here!"
Suddenly, my dreams of meeting Donny Osmond dropped like a half-ton chunk of lead and shattered violently on the concrete floor.

I replied, "But...but...I just want my picture with him."

John looked at me for a few seconds then said, "Well....you can have your picture taken with me."

How was I supposed to argue with that?

So we left. Right then and there. And I am okay with that. I am okay that I passed on the a chance-in-a-lifetime to meet THE Donny Osmond. My one and only chance. Ever. I left.
I left while everyone else in the pageant stayed and mingled with Donny, took pictures with him, laughed with him, and probably partied all night and had the time of their lives with him! I really am okay that I didn't get to do all that. Because, you know, we were able to drive right out of that parking lot without having to wait behind one. single. car.
And that's got to be worth....something.

I. AM. OKAY.

I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm..........




There was a kid on the front row who had no idea who Donny was. Had never heard of him. Here Donny is telling the young man to leave the room.


With his son and wife, Debbie, singing "The Song of Cumorah."


The hungry wolves.

* The statement that I took 108 photos of Donny Osmond is a slight exaggeration, used for dramatic purposes only. I didn't actually take 108 photos, it was less.

Or more.

dad's old glasses

Ever since I had a garage sale 2 weeks ago, I have been on a quest to purge and de-junk every. single. inch. of. my. house. Cleaning and organizing is a weird thing for me. It's like a drug. A good drug. I get this weird euphoria whenever I organize something. I imagine the feeling being something like druggies get when they smoke meth. Or whatever it is they do with meth.

(Meth probably isn't smoked, is it?)

(Oh wait! I just googled it...meth is indeed smoked!)

Anyhoo.

Last week, when I was purging my closet, I found John's old glasses. I think he wore these when we were dating/first married. Well, unbeknownst to me, the kids apparently got a hold of the glasses AND my camera, a discovery I made today when I got my camera out to take some pics. This is what I found on the card. . .










And Adam surely couldn't be left out of the fun. . .

me and shawn

Me with the super-duper nice Shawn Bradley.
All 7' 6" of him.

All I can say is . . . Holy Tallness!

My daughter is a . . .

SCHOOL TEACHER!!!



We spent all day on Friday setting up Brooke's 3rd grade classroom. It has a jungle theme and is A.DOR.A.BLE!

This girl was born to be a teacher. We saw it in her when she was 18-months-old. And now finally, 20 years later, here she is, ready to be a great influence in many children's lives.

Her classroom is ready, her lesson plans are in place, and school starts tomorrow!


And for some reason, I'm feeling . . . old.

Next - rehearsals!

So . . . . we were cast into our parts on Friday night. Early Saturday morning, we started rehearsals which we did almost non-stop for the next week. It was hot. No, it was scorching. It was humid. Waaaay humid. We were outside ALL DAY LONG, every single day. It was tiring. Very, VERY tiring. My legs were killing me from all the lunges and, yes, undulations. By the end of each day were we were sticky, stinky, in pain, and ready to slip into a coma. We didn't get back to our hotel each night until mid-night and we were lucky to be in bed by 1 a.m. Then it was back at the hill by 8:15 a.m. to start it All. Over. Again.

But we loved it. Absolutely loved it. Every minute of it. It's difficult to describe, but despite the extreme conditions, we were on Cloud 9. I couldn't quite figure it out, until one day I was thinking about how hard this all was but at the same time we were all so happy. Then it hit me. When we are in the service of our Heavenly Father, we are sustained. More so than ever. We can endure hard things. This was indeed hard. But it was okay. WE were okay. In fact, we were more than okay. We couldn't think of anywhere else we'd rather be and we dreaded it it coming to an end.

Amazing, but true.

Our rehearsals were held both on the stage and out in "the bowl" which was the grassy area in front of the stage. At this point, the audience chairs weren't out yet, but soon there would be 9000 green chairs filling the bowl!

Front view of the stage, which is set on the side of the Hill Cumorah. Several rehearsals are going on here. (Extra brownie points to anyone who can pick out John. He's there, I promise!)

And here is the view looking into the bowl from the stage.

John with his script in early rehearsals for his scene as Alma. "King Noah" is sitting in his pretentious throne.

A few days later . . . this is where Alma pleads with King Noah to spare Abinadi's life. King Noah responds to Alma by saying, "I see I have a poisonous snake among my priests! You are no longer one of my priests! Away with you!" He then he knocks off John's hat and then the fun really begins for John as he leaps down the stairs and runs all over the stage while being pursued by the other priests, crashing through crowds of people.

John loved it. I swear they wrote this part with him in mind.



This is Jason. He portrayed Christ in the pageant. There were 2 young men who played Christ - one was the "Vision Savior" (Matthew) who appeared in Nephi's vision, and the other was the "Descention Savior" (Jason) who came to the Americas after His resurrection. Even though Matthew and Jason don't really look anything alike, once they were in costume I couldn't tell who was who. They were each amazing in their portrayal of the Savior.




A very moving part of the pageant. The Savior has just descended and is walking amongst the Nephites. He is touching the hands of the children, holding them, healing a sick child. It was a very emotional scene. Here a child touches Him on the cheek.



Jason (portraying Christ) walking among the Nephite children.



Right before Jason portrays Christ ascending back to the Father, he comes to this place on the stage where a few of us "New World Women" and a handful of children gather around his feet. Jason will come and stand on that black plate while we kneel around him. (Brooke is in the striped shirt.)



At this point, Jason (when in costume he is dressed in brilliant white with a wig and a beard) holds out his arms and says, "And now I go unto the Father." The "lift" then raised him up as we raised our arms towards him. I got a little too close to Jason a couple of times and he whacked me in the head as he lifted his arms out. (If you ever read this Jason, I AM SORRY! That was totally my fault! However, I am sure that no one in the audience noticed.) The lights then went out and in the pitch black we had about 5 seconds to get all of us AND the children completely off the stage. That was intense and I think we got caught on stage every. single. performance.
(Adam is in the orange shirt.)



The stage is made out of very hard, VERY SHARP fiberglass. To kneel on this is like kneeling on about 50 razorblades standing on end. You just don't do it. So, to make it a little less, um, painful, they have layed down red rubber matting. We always marveled at the beautiful patterns it left on our knees. Perfect little hexagons!
For the performances, I actually wore knee pads which gave me a whole new lease on life.



Our "New World" group - Matthew (who portrayed the Vision Savior), Andie, me (behind the camera), and those adorable children! During the descention scene, we sat on these stairs while Jason made his way down to our stage. Then we would run and gather around his feet.




The Nephite dancers in rehearsal. The girls had on part of their costumes at this point so they could get used to dancing in the skirts. These kids amazed me! It takes a lot of energy (and youth!) to be a Nephite dancer.



Haylie rehearsing the Harvest Dance in "the bowl."
See the white spray paint on the grass? They had painted an exact footprint of the stage on the grass for rehearsals, since we couldn't all fit on the stage at the same time. It was called "Cyber Stage." :)



Night time rehearsals. We had to get used to doing this all in the dark so some of our rehearsals were late at night.
John's scene as Alma. The man who is really white at the top (with the spotlight on him) is King Noah. John is to the left of him in the "mushroom" hat. John had to wear the hat in rehearsals so that King Noah could practice knocking it off John's head.
This picture was taken right before "the accident." When King Noah went to knock John's hat off, he missed the hat and jabbed John right in the eye! Dang.



Abinadi, with his hands in chains, preaching to Alma.


We rehearsed only 4 days before we performed in front of an audience. FOUR DAYS! It was a miracle that we could pull it off. And pull it off we did! There most surely was divine help. That was the only way it was possible to put together such an enormous production in such a short amount of time.

pageant auditions

A lot of people think that in order to get accepted to the Hill Cumorah Pageant you have to "try-out" first. Au contraire! The reality is, you get accepted first and then try out. Seems a little backwards, I know. However, the pageant presidency (there is a president and two counselors; 5-year callings issued by the church) go off inspiration on whom they should accept to the pageant. Then their hope is that once you arrive at the hill in July and audition for various parts, all sorts of hidden talents will be uncovered! Case in point: who knew that I, Maryanne, could shimmy, lunge, and undulate?! And do all three At. The. Same. Time!

Yes, many hidden talents, uncovered.

Check-in was on Friday. At 8 p.m. they started auditioning, and by 10 p.m. casting was finished and every single person had at least one part! It took a mere 2 hours to cast all 650 of us!

I know what you are thinking, "Holy cow, what a miracle."

Any of the women who wanted a chance at a dancing part were put out in "the bowl" which is the large grassy area in front of the Hill Cumorah. Haylie, Brooke, and I all tried out. There were at least 200 of us! There we were taught a funky little dance by an amazing choreographer named Lisa. Then we danced. And danced. And danced. It was hot. It was hard. Several directors walked around as we danced. They watched. And watched. And watched. Talk about intimidating! Then, they would pull women out as they were chosen for various dancing (or movement) parts.

Haylie showing off her sweet dancing skills during the audition.

Hot, sweaty and tired.
Finally, after almost 2 exhausting hours of dancing, she had her parts:
Harvest Dancer, Unbeliever Torch Bearer, and New World Multitude Woman

John's audition for Alma, which he got. And, BTW, he was AWESOME! As most people on the planet now know, Brooke and I were both chosen to be Ceremonial Dancers, which we soon found out was "code" for Harlot. I know, I've heard it all now...."Oh, I see you were type-cast"......"Like mother, like daughter"....."Are these your true colors shining through?"....etc. All I can say is Brooke and I had a BLAST being harlots. Bring it on . . . shimmies, undulations and all!

on our way. . .

Adam has only been on an airplane once in his short little life. He doesn't remember it though; he was only 4-months-old. So this, to him, was a first. As we boarded our flight to Rochester, New York on our way to Palmyra, he was noticeably nervous. I tried to calm his fears, but somehow he had heard bits and pieces lately of some airplanes and helicopters crashing and so that was on his mind.

It didn't take long, though, for him to realize that flying in a big airplane was pretty cool! The flight attendant brought him apple juice (his drink of choice which he rarely gets at home) and some cinnamon cookies. Combine that with his Thomas the Tank Engine that he brought from home and, well, does life really get any better than this?

Not for a 5-year-old, it doesn't.

the purpose of the pageant

Each night the pageant starts at 9:15 p.m., just at dusk, but the crowds start arriving much earlier than that. Many people show up early in the morning to save seats. Starting at 7 p.m. we are all dressed in costume and out in "the bowl" (the field in front of the hill) mingling with the crowd. The purpose of this is not only to welcome them and let them take pictures with us, but to share the gospel with them. We have this great opportunity to talk to them about The Book of Mormon and explain what the pageant is about. We explain to them what our role is in the play and then share with them a scripture that pertains to our part. It is an amazing 2 hours that we get to spend with people who literally have come from all over the world to experience the pageant. I love this time of the day. The feeling in the bowl is amazing. Last night, as John talked with one woman, he said to her, "I hope you feel something wonderful tonight as you are here at the pageant." She replied, "I already do." For the 2 1/2 weeks we are here, we get to be missionaries. Before we came to pageant, we were assigned to study several chapters of "Preach My Gospel" then once we were here we had classes taught by the sister missionaries that prepared us further to be missionaries. So this is THE purpose of the pageant; to bring others unto Christ. What a blessing to be able to share this message with so many people. I love it.

Hill Cumorah

Probably like most people, I have a mental list of “Really amazing things I’ve done in my life.” My list is quite long. I’ve lived in England , traveled Europe and Russia , done humanitarian work in India and Nicaragua , etc. I have to say that the experience I have been having over the past 2 weeks ranks high on that list. Very high.

We’ve been at the Hill Cumorah since July 1^st and I've hardly had 2 minutes to sit down and journal my experiences. So far I have taken over 1200 photos. Unfortunately, Brooke’s laptop won’t read CR2 files and since all my photos are shot in RAW, well, I’ll have to wait until I get home to post some. (I'll try to remember today to take a few in jpeg. I hate to post anything on my blog without at least one photo!)

In the meantime, I just wanted to write a little about our experiences here. When we arrived at the Hill, we had to audition for certain parts. Haylie wanted to try out for a much coveted dancing part but wanted me to try out with her. I agreed, knowing FOR SURE I wouldn’t get chosen for dancing. Those who wanted to try out were taken to the grassy area in front of the Hill. The choreographer taught us all a funky little dance and then for the next one and a half hours we danced and danced and danced while several directors watched and watched and watched. Soon they started to pull people out and they were handed a card that said what their dancing part was in the show. " Shocked" is an understatement when I describe how I felt when I was pulled out and given the part of “Ceremonial Dancer!” I soon found out that “Ceremonial Dancer” was code for “Harlot!” (My mom wondered if I was type-cast. Thanks mom!) Brooke was also chosen as a Harlot (like mother like daughter). There are 7 of us total. The directors had no idea they had chosen a mother/daughter team but I'm so glad they did because it has been so fun to do this with Brooke. I am twice the age of all the other girls, so I feel a bit like "the Mother Harlot." We are in two scenes; one is the Lehi scene where Lehi is warning Jerusalem of their wickedness. Our group is dancing in front of the people of Jerusalem trying to “entice” them. Our costumes are AWESOME.

I was cast into 2 parts. The other is a “New World Woman” which is so wonderful. Adam and Brooke are in this scene with me and we get to kneel at Christ’s feet when he ascends. It is beautiful and I cry every night when we do this scene.

I am also happy to report that Haylie got a dancing part as well. She is a “Harvest Dancer” and is in the most DARLING scene! After Lehi’s family arrived in the Americas and had settled, things were happy and lovely (for a while). That is her scene and she is so cute in her part.

John auditioned for the part of Alma and he got it! He is the BEST Alma I have ever seen! ;) He LOVES his part, especially when he is fleeing from King Noah. He leaps down the stairs and runs all over the stage while others are trying to catch him. This part is so him and he does an amazing job.

Matthew is a King Noah citizen so he gets to be in the same scene as John. He is wicked and cheers on King Noah. He has a great time.

I knew this experience would not be easy, but it had turned out to be a lot harder than I anticipated. Last week was SO intense; extreme hot and humid temperatures in which we practiced in all day. We have very long days and very little sleep. I also discovered that all my running/biking/swimming/elliptical/weight lifting that I do 6 days a week was not enough to physically prepare me for dancing and hiking up and down the steep Hill Cumorah many times a day. Holy cow. Being a harlot is so demanding! Who knew?!

All last week I could not go up or down stairs without bracing myself on the hand railings and I waddled like I was 9 months pregnant! Motrin became my best friend, as did the hot tub in our hotel. I am much better now, thank heavens, and now I can really move like a seductress! ha ha

We have performed 5 shows and have 3 to go. This is one of those things that I don’t want to end. I am dreading it. The spiritual growth my family is experiencing, the dear friends we have made, and the deeper love and understanding that I am gaining of The Book of Mormon……all these things are priceless.

As the show begins each night, we Ceremonial Dancers are on stage looking out at the audience as we wait for our cue to dance. We kneel there for a couple of minutes before we start dancing, waiting for the spotlight to come to us. As I knelt there Saturday night waiting for our cue, I looked out at the vast audience (yes, it included Donny Osmond). There are 9000 chairs and ALL were full. There were still others on blankets and camping chairs. These people literally come from all over the world to see this pageant. As I looked out, it hit me. The magnitude. The power. I was humbled and felt an overwhelming appreciation to my Heavenly Father for allowing this opportunity for my family not only to grow spiritually but to be able to share the word of God with all these people. The spirit at the pageant is surreal despite the protesters outside the gates. It’s amazing how quickly the Spirit takes over once people enter onto the field. The sounds of the yelling and screaming only a few feet away miraculously fade away.

I am so grateful to be able to be able to share the gospel in this amazing way.

(Lots of pics to come!)