an extra hug

(Matthew at 7 months old with his dad at the lake, taken by my talented brother Layne.)

I had such a roller-coaster ride of a morning that I thought I should sit down, take a deep breath, and write about it.

I walked Matthew to the bus stop at about 8:00 a.m., watched him get on the bus, and looked at him through the window as it drove away. "One down, one to go," I thought, as I still needed to get Adam off to pre-school.

After dropping Adam off at his school, I drove straight to Costco for some shopping. I was just pulling into the parking lot when my cel phone rang (9:45 a.m.). It was Raegan (she was still at home because she didn't have class today until about 10:00).

Raegan: "Did Matthew go to school today?"

Me: "Yes, why?"

Raegan: "Well, his school just called and they said he is not there."

Me: "What?! That's impossible. I watched him get on the bus!"

So I hung up with her and immediately called the school office. The secretary confirmed to me that he was indeed NOT there. I explained that he had to be there! Where else would he be?! She said that she would send someone back down to his class to check again, but in the meantime could I hold on the line and she would call the transportation office to see if maybe he just didn't get off the bus. "Obsurd!", I thought. There is NO WAY that Matthew would just NOT get off the bus when it arrived at the school. Unless he was unconcious! We got disconnected when she placed me on hold, so she called me back a few minutes later (as I sat in my car waiting, having a good sized heart attack).

Secretary: "Maryanne? We found him. He IS in his classroom. They have a substitute and she was just a little confused."

Understandable. What a relief! So I got out of my car and went inside to the return desk to return some things (always things to return to Costco!). About 5 minutes later my phone rang. It was the school secretary, again.

Secretary: "Maryanne, I'm sorry, there was a mistake before. We thought that Matthew was in his class but he is not. We had him confused with another boy. Your son Matthew is not in class. He is not here in school!"

At that moment I almost dropped my phone, and I literally thought I was going to throw up. At this point it had been 2 hours since school started. I told the Costco employee that was helping me that my son was missing and that I needed to go. She said, "Oh my goodness. Go! Go! Go!".

I ran (or floated) to my car. Once I got in I called my sister-in-law (who's son is also in the same class). She said she would immediately get over to the school to see what was going on. I was driving like a bat out of ____ to get to the school, but I was 10-15 minutes away. (Looking back I don't think that someone in my condition should have been driving.) I called John at work and what a miracle HE answered the phone! (That rarely, if ever, happens as he is always with a patient.) Through panic and tears I told him what was happening. As I was basically freaking out to John, the school beeped in on the other line. I quickly switched over.

"Maryanne, this is Matthew's teacher. I just went into my classroom and Matthew IS there! He has been there the entire time. I saw him and spoke to him. There was some obvious confusion going on here and I appologize! But you don't need to worry anymore. Matthew is fine!"

It took me about 20 minutes after that to stop shaking and to get the feeling back in my extremeties.

That feeling that you have, the feeling when your child is missing, is the most inexplainable, SICKENING feeling possible. I can't imagine what parents go through who's children really are missing. I had a taste of it this morning and I don't ever want to taste that again. It's terrifying what goes through your mind in such a short amount of time.

So.....Matthew will get an extra hug tonight, or two, actually probably about 100 extra hugs, as will all my kids.